Thursday, March 10, 2011

Stressed to the Max...

So I have been completely stressed out over everything happening right now. I really thought that by coming home to spend time with my family I would be relaxed and collected.  That is so not the case. I am stressing out over my lack of studying thus far. I really need to get the Indonesian Language under way. So far all I can say is  Selamat Datang (Welcome) Selamat Malam (Good Night) and a few other things.  That is not enough to even attempt at survival in Indonesia. I really have to get moving.

I have to get clothes too for my trip. I have no slacks or button down shirts... having worked in a nonconventional setting for so long has left me with no business casual clothing. So I will need to get that taken care of. Shopping in general just stresses me out.  I also need shoes. I can't wear flip flops to work. lol. So I will remedy that. I am hoping that I will get all of that taken care of next week.

I really just need to learn how to relax and go with the flow of things!
Vibram Five Fingers Bikilas

This weekend my mother and I are going to get a pedicure and get me the pair of Vibram Five Fingers that I have been wanting.  Unfortunately those have been another point of stress since I have gotten home. I wanted a pair really bad. I have heard nothing but good things about them and what wearing them can do for your overall posture, lower back pains, and knee pains. I figured it was worth a go.  My family apparently is not as open to the idea of my having "weird looking" feet.  I keep hearing comments like "yuck" and "eeewww".  But as I have pointed out to them.... those are not valid reasons for me not to get them.  I told them if they can show me any evidence that these shoes would not be good for everything I want them for then I would reconsider getting them.  No one has yet to find a negative side effect of wearing these shoes... besides the fact that they are "ugly" by their standards. I know they are strange looking but I am really looking forward to giving them a shot and seeing for myself how they work out. I have friends and family who own them and say that I wont regret it. There is a website that has stories and reviews on the different styles of Five Fingers. I have done a lot of research on barefoot running and trekking and have found it very helpful. If you are curious at all I suggest checking it out. What can it hurt?

So I think that as with any major decision or change that someone makes, there is always the lingering question, "Am I making the right decision?" or something along those lines.  I have been feeling this way and worrying myself to sickness about what people are going to think about my joining the peace corps and leaving my family for 27 months.  I am worried about leaving my mother giving her fight with cancer. I am worried about not seeing my sister and nieces for so long.  I talked to my mother about my fears and she honestly gave me some of the best words of encouragement I have ever gotten. She told me that life doesn't stop. It wont stop for her illness and it wont stop because I am afraid to move on. I have been stagnant ever since I graduated and have not found any direction. She says that she feels like I have chosen the right direction for me. My family will be here when I get back and no matter what they all support me in my decision and are proud of me for having the courage to do this.  So needless to say, I cried and hugged my mom. I am so excited to go! I really wouldn't want to refuse my assignment, but I would for my mother if she needed me.  She told me to stay motivated to go where I felt I needed to go.  So In light of my mother and my sister's awesome Pintrest motivational board, I have grabbed my favorite motivational posters.... To remind me to keep my eye on the ball when times get tough.


  1. I love the crap outta you Angie! You are ready for this adventure, you just need to let yourself see that! You'll always be my little 10 year old niece in my heart, but wow, what a woman you have become in reality!

  2. If you are interested, there are downloadable mp3 files on learning Bahasa Indonesia here . You can put them in an mp3 player and listen to them during your day. I visited Indonesia recently and the lessons were pretty helpful!

  3. Awesome! I actually downloaded all of the Podcasts and have been going through them making flashcards and study guides. Did you enjoy Indonesia? I am so excited and Nervous. I can't wait to start this adventure. I have been talking to tall of the current Peace Corps Volunteers currently in Indonesia and it sounds amazing.

  4. I really DID enjoy Indonesia because I a) am fairly adventurous, and b) was visiting Erika, one of the current volunteers. Knowing someone who has a decent command of the language helps.
    Indonesians are very gracious hosts, and polite to to the extent that they may appear pushy to American sensibilities; especially about feeding you.
    There will be challenges, but nothing a willing individual can't learn to deal with and the current volunteers are all good sources of information, as I'm sure you've already discovered.

    Enjoy the adventure!

  5. I can't believe my Dad posted...he does these things. Love him anyway... I just wanted to say you absolutely don't need to worry about learning the language before you get here- It's great for your confidence to pick up some phrases, but the PST staff will have you covered. The language is fairly simple, and it's much easier when you're immersed in it. I've heard great things about the plans for training! All you need to do is enjoy your time with your family and friends (and cheese and bacon) finish packing. Hope you can get some sleep!

  6. Erika! I loved that you dad posted. It made my week! I have been getting my fill of cheese and bacon, cause honestly I am going to miss it so much! Especially the cheese. lol. I am glad you posted about the language because it has been stressing me out. :) I will see you in a couple of weeks! I can't wait.