Stressed to the Max...

So I have been completely stressed out over everything happening right now. I really thought that by coming home to spend time with my family I would be relaxed and collected.  That is so not the case. I am stressing out over my lack of studying thus far. I really need to get the Indonesian Language under way. So far all I can say is  Selamat Datang (Welcome) Selamat Malam (Good Night) and a few other things.  That is not enough to even attempt at survival in Indonesia. I really have to get moving.

I have to get clothes too for my trip. I have no slacks or button down shirts... having worked in a nonconventional setting for so long has left me with no business casual clothing. So I will need to get that taken care of. Shopping in general just stresses me out.  I also need shoes. I can't wear flip flops to work. lol. So I will remedy that. I am hoping that I will get all of that taken care of next week.

I really just need to learn how to relax and go with the flow of things!

Vibram Five Fingers Bikilas

This weekend my mother and I are going to get a pedicure and get me the pair of Vibram Five Fingers that I have been wanting.  Unfortunately those have been another point of stress since I have gotten home. I wanted a pair really bad. I have heard nothing but good things about them and what wearing them can do for your overall posture, lower back pains, and knee pains. I figured it was worth a go.  My family apparently is not as open to the idea of my having "weird looking" feet.  I keep hearing comments like "yuck" and "eeewww".  But as I have pointed out to them.... those are not valid reasons for me not to get them.  I told them if they can show me any evidence that these shoes would not be good for everything I want them for then I would reconsider getting them.  No one has yet to find a negative side effect of wearing these shoes... besides the fact that they are "ugly" by their standards. I know they are strange looking but I am really looking forward to giving them a shot and seeing for myself how they work out. I have friends and family who own them and say that I wont regret it. There is a website that has stories and reviews on the different styles of Five Fingers. I have done a lot of research on barefoot running and trekking and have found it very helpful. www.birthdayshoes.com. If you are curious at all I suggest checking it out. What can it hurt?

So I think that as with any major decision or change that someone makes, there is always the lingering question, "Am I making the right decision?" or something along those lines.  I have been feeling this way and worrying myself to sickness about what people are going to think about my joining the peace corps and leaving my family for 27 months.  I am worried about leaving my mother giving her fight with cancer. I am worried about not seeing my sister and nieces for so long.  I talked to my mother about my fears and she honestly gave me some of the best words of encouragement I have ever gotten. She told me that life doesn't stop. It wont stop for her illness and it wont stop because I am afraid to move on. I have been stagnant ever since I graduated and have not found any direction. She says that she feels like I have chosen the right direction for me. My family will be here when I get back and no matter what they all support me in my decision and are proud of me for having the courage to do this.  So needless to say, I cried and hugged my mom. I am so excited to go! I really wouldn't want to refuse my assignment, but I would for my mother if she needed me.  She told me to stay motivated to go where I felt I needed to go.  So In light of my mother and my sister's awesome Pintrest motivational board, I have grabbed my favorite motivational posters.... To remind me to keep my eye on the ball when times get tough.